This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lie', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice', 'cracking the code', 'when it rains it pours', 'bigger fish to fry', 'ball is in your court', 'back to the drawing board', 'square peg in a round hole', 'don't rock the boat', 'a whole new ball game', 'burning the midnight oil', 'never say never', 'get all your ducks in a row', 'make the hay while the sun shines', 'tick all the boxes', 'a leopard cannot change its spots', 'fools rush in', 'final straw that broke the camel's back', 'tip of iceberg', 'hold the fort', 'draw a line in the sand', 'sour grapes', 'missing the mark' and 'a walk in the park'.
Nowadays, the younger generation are becoming more aware and assertive of their individual rights.
Not happy with the grades on your latest assignment? Lodge an appeal for the assignment to be re-graded or even a complaint against the teacher.
Concerned about your company's choice of a new business partner from a part of the world with dubious track record in environmental protection? Send a mass email voicing your displeasure and demanding for an avenue for lowly underlings like yourselve to have a vote on the deal.
Can't stand a monument honouring a historical figure with a chequered past in your town? Round up a demolition crew to erase the monument from the face of earth.
* * *
It's normal for everyone to have strong opinions about matters close to their heart, no matter how young or old. But to what extent should each of voices be heard? In theory, democracy is the way to go. But in practice, is there a big enough room and table to fit chairs for each and every one of us?
Total democracy would lead to chaos, or even unfairness. Does a fresh employee have an equal say on a company's management compared to say, the CEO or a senior manager who's been working there for the last 10 years? Even a voting at shareholders' meeting typically go by number of shares - the more stake you have in a company, the more say you have on its direction. Outside of political elections, democracy is seldom based on "one person, one vote" principle.
In school, high-level decisions are made by a small group of stakeholders, consisting of teachers, parents, donors, and representatives from the governmental education department. The students themselves don't have much of a vote on whether the new injection of funds should be spent on renovating the library, sports facilities, or the staff room.
But nowadays, calls for youth empowerment is growing. Discussions can't be limited to 'adults in the room'. The younger generation should be given the chance to speak their minds.
Still, there's only limited space at the table. There must be some minimum requirements and conditions attached to the right of audience. Every seat must be earned.
* * *
There's a certain set of decorum to be respected. The host at the head of table still sets the agenda and controls proceedings.
Having a seat at the table doesn't mean you can stand and shout at other guests seated at the table. Or that you're entitled to upturn the table if duscussions and decisions don't go according to your liking.
When invited to have a seat at the table, always remember that the seat comes along with rights as well as responsibilities.
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lie', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice', 'cracking the code', 'when it rains it pours', 'bigger fish to fry', 'ball is in your court', 'back to the drawing board', 'square peg in a round hole', 'don't rock the boat', 'a whole new ball game', 'burning the midnight oil', 'never say never', 'get all your ducks in a row', 'make the hay while the sun shines' and 'tick all the boxes'.
It's unrealistic to expect people to tick all the boxes. Not every student can be of A++ calibre without a single day of abstention or homework deadline misssed. Not every new hire kicks off smoothly without making a single error or pissing off a senior colleague. Not every date lits off the "love at first sight' bulb in our hearts.
Yet, as previously explained, that doesn't mean that we can't set minimum standards for people to abide. How high or low of a threshold to adopt differs from people to people.
I like to think I'm rather patient and tolerant. I strive not to judge a book by its cover. First impression matters, but not as much as counting as one out of three fatal strikes against someone. I'm always hopeful that people can change for the better, no matter the number of flaws they have.
* * *
But by giving people a benefit of doubt, I'm also giving them more time and space to disappoint and annoy me. Which makes me wonder whether I should raise my standards, or more specifically, come to the sad realisation that a leopard cannot change its spots>.
Is old age affecting my level of patience? Or have the years of experience taught me how to better judge people from the start? Could be a mixture of both.
Is old age affecting my level of patience? Or have the years of experience taught me how to better judge people from the start? Could be a mixture of both.
Or maybe I'm actually far too tolerant and nice. I rarely raise my voice. I avoid direct confrontations. I like to frame my constructive criticism very delicately so not to destroy people's morale and motivation.
Or maybe I'm just being rather naive and arrogant to think that my words and actions can make people change. Who am I to tell people how to live their lives? What have I done and achieved in my own life that gives me the authority to preach? Do I even practice what I actually preach?
* * *
Don't get me wrong, I haven't quite given up on humanity. I'm still determined to help people in need of guidance.
But there's a limit to my time and energy. I can't be out saving the whole world. I have to pick and choose my battles. Why bother with taming a stubborn leopard when I only have the power to steer lost sheep to safety?
So if anyone wonders why I'm being particularly indifferent to certain people whilst extra sensitive to others, it's not due to favouritism. Rather, it's a matter of caring for people who actually care enough about changing their lives for the better.
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lie', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice', 'cracking the code', 'when it rains it pours', 'bigger fish to fry'm 'ball is in your court', 'back to the drawing board', 'square peg in a round hole', 'don't rock the boat', 'a whole new ball game', 'burning the midnight oil' and 'never say never'.
Making plans is the easy part. Brainstorming ideas. Drawing out timelines. Huddling around in weekly meetings. Setting agenda items. Delegating tasks around.
Execution the plan - now, that's when the tough gets going. New developments arise. Someone drop outs of the team abruptly. Errors in miscalculation. Wrong assumptions made. Everyone panics.
And the whole house of cards come tumbling down...
* * *
Even the best-laid plans can go awry. THat's why it's important to get your ducks in a row
Who or what are these ducks? They can be people, tasks, tools - basically all the basic items essential to the successful execution of your plan.
It's not just about gathering your best people, but putting the best person to do the task that best fits their abilities.
So what if you have the most advanced technological devices? Without proper training, they can be a roadblock and source of frustration for the unitiated.
Half the team may be geared up to go, but you may need to hold your horses and ensure the other half still wrapping up another project to be up to speed to avoid backlogs.
* * *
Project management isn't as easy it seems. It takes a very focused mind to map out all eventualities. A captain. A general. Someone with real leadership skills, who can instruct as well as inspire.
Ducks can be tricky creatures to tame. They'll swim in different directions in a pond. Poke them too hard, and you'll scare them away. It takes tremendous patience and a gentle touch to train them to swim in a row and flock together.
Life can get out of control, sometimes. But with proper planning and being adaptable enough to make quick turns, we can all manage to get all of ducks safely through the turbulent waters.
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lie', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice', 'cracking the code', 'when it rains it pours', 'bigger fish to fry', 'ball is in your court', 'back to the drawing board', 'square peg in a round hole' and 'don't rock the boat'.
I remember the time, decades ago, back in school, when I suffered a horrific leg injury during a friendly football match in the neighbourhood. Playing on the wings, a long ball from the opposition side flew above my head.
Eyes firmly on the distant black spot in the sky, I followed the trajectory of the ball with a trot. Simple task, really. The ball hit the ground close to the sidelines, so I just positioned myself to shield the ball.
WHAM! Suddenly, someone tackled me from behind, in a desperate lunge to retrieve the ball that had already gone out oa play. I tumbled onto the grass, rolled a bit, and fell into a drain...
The next five months, I was out of the game. Nursing a large open wound on my knee with lacerated scars on both legs. I was never the same player as before. I could no longer sprint down the sidelines from end to end, cutting into the middle of the midfield, and play all over the field. I had lost my pace, and more importantly, the fear of picking up another horrendous injury curbed my free-flow play. I turned into a more defensive player, either as wingback or a holding centre midfielder.
* * *
Anyway, that sounded like a long tedious preview to non-footballing fans, I'm sure. Point is, we've all had our share of life-changing moments, whether in childhood, adolescence, or adulthood. Every once in a while, we're thrown into a whole ball game altogether.
Well, I'm not totally starting off afresh, of course. Change has been in the air, for some time. My life didn't change overnight. I wasn't physically incapacitated.
Still, metaphorically, I felt that I was pushed to the brink of a yawning abyss. My mind was in a dark, dark place. I struggled to find motivation. A hard reset was needed, to keep my body, mind and soul afresh.
And so, I made a bold play. To shift gears. And get back into the groove...
* * *
So far, so good. The transition hasn't been tough. I'm slowly easing back into my old form.
But of course, bigger battles (and longer nights) lie ahead. I haven't quite been thrown to the deep end just yet. Things will get tougher before they get easier.
Still, the change has been good. The game may have evolved since the last time I played, many moons ago. But somehow, feels like I've never quite the left pitch...
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lies', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice', 'cracking the code', 'when it rains it pours', 'bigger fish to fry' and 'ball is in your court'.
Ever poured your entire heart and soul into a life mission at the expense of everything else?
Ever made sacrifices beyond the call of duty and suffer in silence?
Ever lost all connection with the people and world close to you to achieve an impossible task that you can only hope against hope that others will be inspired to join your cause, ligthen your load, and save you from falling into the oblivion?
Been there, done that, brought back souveniers from Hell. People say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. But people has less to say about the road away from hell. All the pain and suffering endured in the fires of the netherworld almost seems like a distant memory now. Am I able to adjust living back in the real world? Now, that's the real challenge...
* * *
Yes, feels good to be back. To be free from the seemingly never-ending nightmare. But the wave of relief is momentary. A new wave is about to horizon. Here and now, I'm back to the drawing board.
Then again, I've been here one too many times before. Hitting a dead end, backtracking, and starting afresh. To face new experiences, and new challenges.
Okay, I'm somewhat overdramatizing my condition. It's not like I'm heading towards unknown territory. I've been bracing myself for some time. It's a homecoming of sorts.
Still, much has changed since I last left. Even the toughest of steel is bound to rust. Even the most change-adverse industry can't escape the inexorable march of technology. There's much to relearn and unlearn.
* * *
Being back to the drawing board doesn't necessarily mean that one begins with a clean slate. It's not a complete reversal of choices made. It's just a small step backwards, to take a giant leap forwards.
After all, life doesn't move in a straight line. Life is filled with twists and turns. Sometimes, we need to walk in circles before we're able to espy the right path to take.
As a wise man (or woman) once said: "Not all who wander are lost". What is life if not an adventure that one feels excited to continue exploring every morning? When life gets boring, that's when you know you're stuck in hell. Heaven is where the fun begins...
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lies', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice' and 'cracking the code'.
There are moments in life where absolutely nothing interesting happens. Routine. Boredom. Business as usual.
And suddenly, all hell breaks loose. Deadlines keep piling up. Unexpected breaking news. There's a new sheriff in town laying down new rules and showing no mercy to rule-breakers. Panic sets in.
Funny how life works, eh? The morning starts off all hot and sunny. Then, without warning, dark clouds gather and...
* * *
If we're lucky, the rain starts with a slight drizzle, giving us plenty of time to seek shelter. But sometimes, the rain just pours and pours...
Being caught in a storm outside without an umbrella is terrible luck. Water reaches dangerously close to the waist. And you're at risk of drowning.
Then again, a flash flood tends to strike fast, and seep away equally fast. So as long as you've reached high grouond, you're able to weather the storm.
* * *
Trouble never just rains, but pours. The trick is to turn problems into opportunities. So that our 101 problems don't look too bad, after all.
I'm still stuck in the storm. Angry thunder scorches the skies. People scrambling over each other to reach the lifeboats.
But I am calm. Where others feel fear, I only feel peace.
For when the rain pours, I recite the Litany of Fear: "I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. I will face my fear. I will let it pass through me. When the fear has gone, there shall be nothing. Only I will remain."
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lies', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel' and 'jump on the bandwagon'.
Life is busy. Work never ends. Stuff keeps piling up on our plates.
We've all got roles and responsibilities. Some are easy to discharge, some consume every bit of our time and energy. It's tough to even catch a break and have a Kit-Kat (no, this isn't a sponsored content, Kit Kat is really cool).
We can't take on the burdens of the world upon our own shoulders. Everyone has their limits. We can't be out saving the world all the time. Press hard enough, and we'll eventually crack under pressure.
So what can be done? Well, the solution is simple...
* * *
Yes, shift the burden away to someone else -pass the buck.
Of course, half of the problem at work arises when people keep passing the buck and the buck doesn't stop passing around. No one wants to own up. Everyone is suddenly a tai-chi expert.
But buck-passing isn't a bad thing in itself. When done fairly, it can increase efficiency. Specialisation. Everyone focus on what they do best. If a task falls on your lap that can be done better and faster by someone else, then pass it on by all means.
Of course, this can create a bottleneck. Work starts being diverted to the hardest and smartest of workers. More work is the reward of good work. Yes, that's the unfair part of life.
Indeed, some people can become experts in passing the buck. Work on their in-tray gets immediately placed on their out-tray. They're basically a postman. Their job is to pass stuff from person to another. And ironically, they get rewarded with less work and stress than those of us burning the midnight oil doing actual work...
* * *
Yes, life is unfair as much as it is busy. Not everyone carry their equal share of burden. Some of us toil in the hot sun, some operate in the shadows.
Still, it's up to us to take control of our workflow. Think of your capacity as a system of valves. The trick is to open and shut valves, at the right time, at the right volume.
We're all masters of our own destiny. Don't take on too many buckets of water on our shoulders. Your back is more precious than any amount of buck.
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lies', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', 'don't judge a book its cover' and 'reinvent the wheel'.
Don't we all wish for life to be smooth sailing? Just cruising down a freeway, straight like an arrow. No bumps, no other car in sight. Take a hand off the wheel. Go on the autopilot.
Job stability. Financial security. That's the dream.
But life is never easy. At least, not for long. There may be a honeymoon period before a big project really takes off. Or off-peak blissful moments of peace in between projects. And even when the harvest is plenty for seasons after seasons, all good things must come to an end...
* * *
Seasons turn. Change is the only constant. Nothing lasts forever. Like it or not, to keep on moving, there comes a time when we have to shift gears.
Yes, doing the same work over and over again breeds experience and excellence. Practice makes perfect. Yet, eventually, stagnancy sets in. Out of complacency. Inability to adapt. Or perhaps plain boredom.
There's always room for improvement. New challenges open up new opportunities. Exceeded your annual KPI and earned a hefty bonus? That's great, but the slate gets reset next year.
Yes, take a moment or two to celebrate, kick back, and relax. But tomorrow is a new day. Nver get to comfortable with your successes. Don't rest on your laurels (another idiom!).
* * *
Even when life is going smoothly, it's important to take stock of what you have and where you are at. Life could be better. Or life could be taking an unexpected turn. Either way, keep your eyes fully on the road and your hands on the wheel.
You can't cruise through life forever. Sooner or later, you need to slow down, or quicken the pace. A static life is a dull life. Life is all about shifting gears.
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lies', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap' and 'lightning in a bottle'.
Communication, as the cliche goes, is a two-way street. Someone is talking, another is listening. Both take turns speaking their minds and understanding the other person's perspective. Sounds simple, enough?
Sadly, as the COVID pandemic forces us to be physically apart and keep part of our facial expressions hidden, it's harder than ever to get the traffic of information running smoothly. Virtual calls on Zoom just don't capture all the nuances in our tone and demeanour. Technical glitches spoil the mood. Fatigue sets in from staring at tiny boxes on the computer screen.
On one hand, the virtual space has eased accessibility between people from across the world. I get to attend more events than before due to lower entries of barrier, in terms of cost and time. I get to meet people that I would never had the opportunity meeting in normal circumstances.
Still, while the quantity of connections have increased, the quality has somewhat suffered. There's just not enough time to delve into deeper conversations. There's no beverage being served as social lubricants. There's an absence of ambience.
* * *
Trust and friendship is forged by shared interests and principles. To have a good working relationship with other people, it's important for everyone to be on the same page.
But nowadays, it's hard for people to even be reading the same book. Too many divergences, too many distractions. We no longer watch the same show on TV. Netflix, Disney+, HBO Max... It's so hard to catch the flavor of the week, these days.
Do I sound like an old coot on a rocking chair griping on and on about the younger generation and ills of modern technology? Not quite, because I feel that people at my age (and older) are as guilty of falling into this social fragmentation. As I've written before, birds of a feather flock together'. We only see eye to eye with people who think and live like us. We dismiss the struggles and experiences of others from a different place. We dismiss their differing opinions as misguided.
Do I sound like an old coot on a rocking chair griping on and on about the younger generation and ills of modern technology? Not quite, because I feel that people at my age (and older) are as guilty of falling into this social fragmentation. As I've written before, birds of a feather flock together'. We only see eye to eye with people who think and live like us. We dismiss the struggles and experiences of others from a different place. We dismiss their differing opinions as misguided.
* * *
Small talk matters. Strike out conversations with strangers. Be a patient listener.
Step out of our echo chambers. Stop sticking to sscript. Speak your mind.
Only when we open ourselves and keep an open mind, can we truly connect with others. Life is more interesting when we're on the same page - or at the very least, able to read pass the book of others beyond the front cover...
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lies', 'open a can of worms' and 'light at the end of the tunnel'.
It's good to set lofty goals. Nothing wrong being ambitious. Progression is part of life. We've all keep on moving to bigger things.
But often times, things don't work out according with our best-laid plans. Unforeseen circumstances. Personal miscalculation. Someone else dropped the ball.
So don't panic if something goes horribly wrong. Mistakes are bound to happen. Nobody is perfect.
Keep your cool, stay the course. Don't stop shooting for the stars just because your rockets fail to flare during the first launch.
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A simple message, but a timely one. The pandemic has disrupted all our lives in many unexpected ways. Now, more than ever, it's important to keep in mind that living is all about trial and error.
Of course, being in error is never easy to stomach. It's a crushing blow to our ego. Unsettles our pre-conceived notions of our own competence. Makes us question about our choices in life. Failure is a deep pit that test the resolve of even the most resilient of us to hang on and keep climbing.
I've slipped up, countless of times, in 2021. Sometimes over spots that I expected smooth sailing. Being blindsided by hidden traps. Stumbling, falling, and bruising.
When we take a shot at a distant target, we're prone to have as many misses as hits. The harder the goal, the harder the fall. One can't lay claim to major success without facing few bouts of epic failure.
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Should we be honest with our mistakes? Of course. There's no sense in covering up and hiding behind a mask without flaws. Don'r airbrush our imperfections. Don't sugarcoat the truth. Don't shy away from our inner demons.
Indeed, we often learn more from our failures than successes. Post-mortem is more rigorous when we're left licking our wounds. We're hesitant to fix things unless they're truly broken.
Embrace your errors. Experiment, explore. Expand your horizons.
