This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lie', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice', 'cracking the code', 'when it rains it pours', 'bigger fish to fry', 'ball is in your court', 'back to the drawing board', 'square peg in a round hole', 'don't rock the boat', 'a whole new ball game', 'burning the midnight oil', 'never say never', 'get all your ducks in a row', 'make the hay while the sun shines', 'tick all the boxes', 'a leopard cannot change its spots', 'fools rush in', 'final straw that broke the camel's back', 'tip of iceberg', 'hold the fort', 'draw a line in the sand', 'sour grapes', 'missing the mark', 'a walk in the park' and 'seat at the table'.
Ever walked down a dark alley and had a tingling feeling run down your spine? Or woke up in cold sweat from a terrifying nightmare in the morning only to later encounter a really bad day at work or school?
The French has a word for such omens and premonitions: déjà vu (which has now become part of English vocabulary). It's the feeling of dread before something bad is about to happen.
Worse still, you won't even how know how bad it is until it hits you straight in the face. There's not much you can do to avoid or lessen the impact. You just can't prepare against the inevitable.
Or can you? Sometimes, the signs are obvious and manifest far in advance. You can sense a change in the air. People behaving rather differently. Nothing discernible, but you just know something's coming...
* * *
What you can't wrap around your head, sometimes you can feel in the gut. And you've got to learn to listen and trust to that wrenching feeling in the gut.
Instincts. Intuition.
It's not some kind of hocus-pocus magic, mind you. Strong instincts often manifest from the subconscious. Your muscle memory. Your depth of knowledge. Your years of experience. Something just clicks in your mind. Warning you of imminent danger. Your inner mind is one step ahead of your conscious thoughts.
Your thoughts haven't quite processed all the details yet. Information is still lacking and yet to be fully analysed. But the conclusion is already flashing in red. Do you trust it? Or do you wait for more verification?
Of course, sometimes the warning is a false positive. Nothing bad actually happens. You're just jumping at shadows. You just overwhelm yourselves with a great deal of stress for nothing.
* * *
Your instincts aren't exactly perfect. Sometimes your inner radar just goes bonkers. Deprivation of sleep. Too much alcohol. A lot of lifestyle indulgences can mess with our mind.
Still, it's wise to pay heed to that inner voice. More often that not, your intuition will steer you toward the right path and save you from great grief.
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lie', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice', 'cracking the code', 'when it rains it pours', 'bigger fish to fry', 'ball is in your court', 'back to the drawing board', 'square peg in a round hole', 'don't rock the boat', 'a whole new ball game', 'burning the midnight oil', 'never say never', 'get all your ducks in a row', 'make the hay while the sun shines', 'tick all the boxes', 'a leopard cannot change its spots', 'fools rush in', 'final straw that broke the camel's back' and 'tip of iceberg'.
Everyone needs a holiday. Some more than others. Some going away for a long, long time.
And that leaves the rest of us back home toiling away harder than before to cover their absence. It's fair, when everyone takes turn and helps each other out in equal measure.
But then again, it's not really cool to abandon one's post at in the think of action. Leaving one's comrades to fend for themselves against the rampaging hordes while gallivanting away without a care in the world. And if one really need to take leave for an emergency or a well-planned vacation that can't be moved without risking a divorce or ex-communication from the family, one should still stay behind as long to ensure one's backup is properly briefed and trained.
* * *
Recently, I had to suddenly take leave from work, at a critical period of a project. Someone had to fill my spot, just for a while. Someone had to hold the fort.
I'm grateful for my colleagues who put in the extra shift to patrol around the perimeter and keep watch over the battlements. I owe them a lot. Next time if they ever face the same hardship, I'll definitely reciprocate. Kindness begets kindness.
Still, I felt rather guilty. I couldn't really switch off from work. My mind wouldn't feel at ease until I sorted out my responsibilities.
As soon as my serious troubles ebbed away, I rushed back to my station. Even though I was advised to take a couple more days of rest. I just didn't feel right that other people had to shoulder my workload. The kindness of others shouldn't be stretched more than required.
* * *
Actually, I've still not returned to normalcy. There are still some lingering complications that hinders my everyday routine. And there are moments when I'm totally disabled from discharging an important function of my work.
But I'm back at my post. Not the same way that I used to. But I'm there in mind and spirit, if not in body. People have definitely noticed all is not quite right with me. But hopefully, they'll understand and trust that I'm back for good.
I've tend to hold the fort for others more than the other way around. But until now, I've never given much thought about it. That's just something expected out of all of us. To help each other out without question. Unfortunately, now that I've left my post on this instance, I realise that some people don't feel strongly about holding the fort for others...
At the end of the day, it's all about how much we uphold a sense of moral responsibility. Some people take their shifts seriously, some doze off when the captain guard isn't looking. But to each their own.
For me, I turn up on guard duty every day and night because I have pledged to protect the fort. Holding the fort is part of holding to one's promise and purpose.
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lie', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice', 'cracking the code', 'when it rains it pours', 'bigger fish to fry', 'ball is in your court', 'back to the drawing board', 'square peg in a round hole', 'don't rock the boat', 'a whole new ball game', 'burning the midnight oil', 'never say never', 'get all your ducks in a row', 'make the hay while the sun shines', 'tick all the boxes', 'a leopard cannot change its spots' and 'fools rush in'.
Patience is virtue. But patience has limits.
It's not cool to judge a book its cover'. We should always 'go the extra mile' to understand and help people.
Yet, we shouldn't let ourselves to be taken for granted, or taken for a ride. We shouldn't waste our time and trust on people who keep breaking their promises or failing the same simple test that you've taught them to pass over and over again. Life is too short bearing with people who wears our patience thin.
* * *
Being a fairly emphathetic person in general, I like to see the good side of people rather than their bad. As resilient as, say, a camel. My patience can take blows after blows... until the final straw that breaks the camel's back.
I have my own shares of idiosyncracies, so I can tolerate people's eccentricities.
I'm a bit of a loner myself, so I respect people's need for privacy.
I hold rather unconventional views about many matters, so I understand why people would push back on my advice.
But when someone crosses over the line of irrationality, that's just a bridge too far for me to relate and accept.
For youngsters, the line is crossed when they stubbornly stick to a course of action that's doomed to failure based on the weight of logic and historical precedent. Somehow, everyone thinks that they're special and be the first in breaking the cycle.
For old folks, the line is crossed when they think that they know better than everyone else based on their limited and skewed experiences. Often times, they also cross the line of annoyance by being extremely vocal about their dogmatic beliefs which they seek to impose upon everyone else.
* * *
Some people may regard me as cold and aloof. They're right to think so. I'm not the most expressive person in the room. Wearing a poker face is my default look.
Only a small circle of people have been privileged enough to see the inner side of me. But it's a privilege easily lost as hard as it is to earn.
Over the course of my short lifespan so far, I've cut ties with many people of whom I thought were deserving of my trust and respect. The only regret I have is not cutting ties sooner. From now on, the final straw needs to strike out faster and harder...
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lie', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice', 'cracking the code', 'when it rains it pours', 'bigger fish to fry', 'ball is in your court', 'back to the drawing board', 'square peg in a round hole', 'don't rock the boat', 'a whole new ball game', 'burning the midnight oil', 'never say never', 'get all your ducks in a row', 'make the hay while the sun shines', 'tick all the boxes', and 'a leopard cannot change its spots'.
There's a rom-com made in the 90s with the same title, starring the lovely Salma Hayek and witty Matthew Perry, which most of us are either far too young to have watched or too old to remember watching. Rom-com isn't one of my favourite genre, and I can only recall flashes from the movie.
I don't need to (and won't) go into the plot details for anyone to correctly guess that the movie is about two odd couple falling head over heels for each other due to "love at first sight". Problem is - as there wouldn't be a Hollywood movie stretching over an hour without a problem - the moments of passion gets ripped apart by the forces of reality.
I won't spoil the plot any further. Nor is my intention to go all soft and mushy about love, anyway. Rather, the larger point is how we - just like star-crossed lovers blinded by passion - keep rushing into making major decisions that turn out to be life-changing mistakes...
* * *
As a mentor, I get particularly concerned when a youngling starts straying into a dangerous path that threatens to wreck their future. Like Master Yoda feeling the fear and anger brimming in Anakin Skywalker. It's hard for us not to feel sorry, and do everything in power to stop the poor young fools from rushing in...
But often times, our timely advice goes unheeded. Our pleas are drowned out by whispers of malevolent forces giving sweet assurances that one can always enjoy the best of both worlds. The Jedi's path of letting go off attachments, losing the ones you love, and making sacrifices are just no match to the Sith's code fuelled by power and passion.
A Jedi Master would say: "You have to choose. Building up skills requires focused training and discipline. Put aside thoughts of comfort and material gains."
And a Sith Lord would say: "You can have everything that your heart so desire. Money. Status. Work-life balance. Love. You need not sacrifice anything. Just step this way, onto this shortcut..."
Why do fools in? Because they're young and naive. Because they have never tasted true power and taken on true responsibilities. Because they think they're special and different (and won't fail the way so many others have failed). Because they lack the experience and wisdom that comes with age.
* * *
I've seen many younglings rush like fools into making mistakes after mistakes. It pains me to see them suffer - and perhaps ruin their lives forever.
But who am I to judge the folly of others? May he (or she) who has not sinned throw the first stone...
Yes, that's actually a line from the Bible. That's quite an abrupt switch of theme - from Hollywood to Christianity. But as always, art imitates life.
For the full sagely advice reads: "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread..."
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lie', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice', 'cracking the code', 'when it rains it pours', 'bigger fish to fry', 'ball is in your court', 'back to the drawing board', 'square peg in a round hole', 'don't rock the boat' and 'a whole new ball game'.
We've all been through this since the earliest days of childhood. Feverishly flipping through pages after pages of books, furiously scribbling down shorthand notes - the eve of the dreaded day of examination.
Some of us gather in a group to study. Exchanging ideas. Or merely finding solace in the company of equally panicky and miserable souls.
For those still in school, don't grumble too hard. Trust me, things get even tougher once you're out in the working world. Deadlines are shorter. Expectations are higher. And everyone's fighting to save their own skin and that very often we're all left alone shouldering the load that only grows heavier by the minute...
* * *
Welcome to reality, people. Rest is a luxury. Everyday is a labourious journey - whether out toiling in the field, or typing away on a keyboard in a tiny cubivle in an office tower. For many of us, life is a constant cycle of burning the midnight oil
Do we work harder than our ancestors? Maybe, maybe not. Without the marvels of modern technology, people are left to attend to painstaking chores that can now be easily taken care of by machines. Like washing clothes or the dishes. Or writing a letter with a quill and inkblot on a parchment - one mistake, and you have to redo everything (there is no delete or edit button)!
Yet, technology also creates new work. Coders didn't exist in our grandparents' time. Digital influencers operate in a whole different level than medieval courtesans or stage artists.
So there's no more oil to burn simply because technology is capable of discovering - or even creating - new fields of oil. Figuratively speaking, of course. In this new century, the world is moving away from fossil fuels to renewables, which include stuff like solar, nuclear, lithium batteries, and so on.
Anyway, point is, there's no end to work. Even we're resting, we can't help but thinking of new forms of work to do (or rather, managers thinking of new forms of work to delegate. Human ingenuity (and cruelty) has no bounds.
* * *
But is there any better alternative? Cut down work to the bare minimum so that we can enjoy life to the maximum?
Sounds tempting, but what will come to our us when our minds are filled with fluff or vacuum? As an old saying goes: idle hands are the devil's playground. Which is another way of saying that an unfocused mind makes a dangerous mind. Or that we simply tend to get naughty when we have too much free time.
But most of us aren't privileged enough to have the choice and control over the work that we do. Same for me. That's why if any of my post appear rather late, the reason is that I'm knee-deep in a deep pool of oil that's too slippery to get out from...
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lies', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice', 'cracking the code', 'when it rains it pours', 'bigger fish to fry', 'ball is in your court' and 'back to the drawing board'.
At work or at school, we're often given things-to-do that are totally out of the scope of what we originally signed up for. Sure, there's always the odd mundane chore or two that lands on our in-tray. Booking the conferencce room when the administrative assistant's away on leave. Ordering coffee for some VIPs dropping by for a meeting.
Still, there should be always a limit on being tasked to do things that we're not supposed to be doing and really someone else's responsibility. Time is precious. Time spent on doing random stuff means time not being spent on doing important stuff that needs to be done, like since yesterday.
And then of course, there are just nasty people in every organisation looking for oppourtinities to make our lives miserable by making up unnecessary work just to make themselves feel important and seen as adding value.
* * *
We're all guulty of it, to a different degrees. Placing unrealistic expectations on people just not cut out for the task. But why? There's really no point in trying to force a square peg in a round hole.
Sometimes, we feel like we're actually doing a favour for the unfortunate victim. Pushing their boundaries. Upskilling, reskilling, and all that ridiculous new-age jazz. We genuinely feel we can mould a square peg to become a circle instead.
That, of course, is fanciful thinking. Too much optimism on others. Or just overestimation of our own's ability to judge others. Yes, we're all prone to feel like we know what's good or better for other people - so much so that we push them to do things that they're not comfortable doing and feel strongly against.
And then there's just really nasty managers who just delight in bending people to their will with little regard of people's feelings...
* * *
Me? I know what's good for myself. I'm well-aware of what I'm good at, and what I'm not. I do things because I enjoy doing them, I avoid things that I don't. Simple as that.
That's not to say I'm inflexible and uncompromising. Every now and then, I'm happy to ezplore or experiment things that I'm not particularly fond of (like tea-breaks or shopping). If you ask at the right time with the right tone, your wish is my command!
But at the end of the day, life is too precious spending time on things - as a wise sage puts it - doesn't spark joy. Live free, and life well!
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lies', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon', 'passing the buck', 'breaking the ice', 'cracking the code' and 'when it rains it pours'.
Why is the direct manager unresponsive to urgent emails?
Why is the team lead not giving any proper instructions on the next step?
Why is the boss not listening to me?
Deal with it. Suck it up. The world doesn't spin around you, kiddo. People have their own set of problems to settle. Your issue is miniscule, a drop of water in the vast ocean.
* * *
It's really that simple. You're not important in the greater scheme of things. People can't be bothered attending to your woes because they have bigger fish to fry.
In life, you just have to get used to being shunned, dismissed or even ignored. Especially when you're low in the pecking order, at the bottom of the food chain (two idioms in one!).
So how do you get people to notice you? To spare a thought for you? To care for your feelings and concerns?
You can try waving your hand, shouting, or even spam constant gentle reminder emails. But if that doesn't work, then perhaps you just have to face the cold hard truth - that you're in the wrong pool, swimming with the wrong type of fishes...
* * *
Yes, we just have to accept that sometimes, we're not high on the priority list of people close to us (or so we thought). We've been taken for a ride. We've been taken for granted.
There's only one solution. Cut your losses, swallow your pride, and move on. If you're treated as a tiny and dull fish in a pond, then that pond just isn't for you. Swim to another pond, find another home.
Life is too short being someone's small fry.
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lies', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel', 'shifting gears', 'throwing in the towel', 'jump on the bandwagon' and 'passing the buck'.
New neighbour in town? New kid in class? New colleague in office?
People are on the constant move. The pandemic has hit pause on globalisation, of course. But as normalcy gradually returns, we're seeing an uptick of travelling and migration once again.
We have all been stuck behind screens on Zoom, Meet or Teams talking to people for the last two years or so. Communication done virtually feels very differently from physical interaction. Most of all, it's not easy getting the know someone for the very first time through boxes of our faces.
So that's why now, more than ever, we need to rekindle the spark of friendliness. It's now safer to talk to strangers (but still, keep your distance and mask on). It's time to get out and meet people for real!
* * *
So how do we make a good impression on someone who's never met us before? Introductory formalities is one thing. But to really break through the social barrier, one has to break the ice.
I'm far from being an extrovert. Still, I used to look forward to mass gatherings - conferences, conventions, etc. There's a thrill in meeting new interesting people, and forge new friendships. Speed dating without the romance.
I can't remember the last time I actually exchanged a business card with someone. It's been ages since I've walked into a hall with more than 100 people (vaccination centres excluded). Yes, as much as I feel that most our mundane everyday interactions between work colleagues can be done virtually, meetings with external stakeholders need that extra human touch.
And there's a whole bigger box to unpack, when it comes to physical meetings. Body language. Attire. Yes, I need to start ironing crumpled shirts and pants that has been buried in my wardrobe...
* * *
It's good to go out more and talk to people face-to-face. Who doesn't miss the carefree days where we can just sit back, relax, laugh aloud without worrying about spraying unseen micro-organism into the air?
Yes, it's good to get back out onto the road. The world has been in a freeze for far too long. Time to break the ice, people!
This is part of a running series about English idioms - less about language, more about life itself. Previously, we covered 'missing the woods for the trees', 'the elephant in the room', 'practising what you preach', blowing hot and cold', 'no smoke without fire', 'one swallow does not make a summer', 'apples and oranges', 'cut to the chase', 'leave no stone unturned', 'that's the way the cookie crumbles', 'can't have your cake and eat it too', 'old is gold', 'putting the cart before the horse', 'mountain out of a molehill', 'pot calling the kettle black', 'bite the bullet', 'go the extra mile', 'silence is golden', 'the devil is in the details', 'sink or swim', 'once bitten twice shy', 'don't count your chickens before they hatch', 'don't put all your eggs into one basket', 'chicken and egg', 'walking on eggshells', 'flogging a dead horse', 'better late than never', 'storm in a teacup', 'between a rock and a hard place', 'darkest before dawn', 'empty vessels make the most noise', 'birds of a feather flock together', 'separate the wheat from the chaff', 'let sleeping dogs lies', 'open a can of worms', 'light at the end of the tunnel', 'trial and error', 'look before you leap', 'lightning in a bottle', 'on the same page', 'don't judge a book its cover', 'reinvent the wheel' and 'shifting gears'.
Never give up, never surrender!
Winners never quit, quitters never win!
If you don't succeed, try and try again!
That's the mantra typically drilled into our heads, from childhood to adulthood. Work hard. Stay strong. Be resilient. Grow a spine. Don't wave the white flag at the first sign of trouble. And so on.
Yes, success takes time. Don't expect to get instant results from every good performance at school or work. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
* * *
Yet, there are times when enough is enough. We've tried and tried again, yet success still eludes us. When nothing more that can be done to make things better, there's no shame in throwing in the towel
Yes, painful as it is, we have to be prepared to admit defeat. Swallow your pride. Don't hold back your tears. Life doesn't go our way all the time.
I'm not adverse to calling it quits myself. In fact, my problem is perhaps being too stubborn. Clinging on to false hopes for far too long. Not cutting losses sooner. As the saying goes (commonly attributed to Albert Einstein): "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result".
Still, I don't think that the root cause is over-estimating my own abilities. I'm well aware of my strengths and weaknesses. Whenever I fall short of a lofty target, I often regret not doing things different or trying harder.
No, my fault lies instead in being too trusting on people. Expecting people to make good on their word. Or to warn me if I'm on the wrong track. Gullible? Naive? That's me.
* * *
Why do we feel so strongly against accepting failure. Ego. Ignorance is bliss. We can't face the cold hard truth that we're not worth as much as we think are.
Time to grow up, people (and myself)! Don't be too sure about yourself. Don't put too much faith on the goodwill of others.
Deep inside, we all know when it's time to throw the towel. All it takes - which we often sorely lack - is the courage to let it go...
