Monday, January 11, 2016

Women Date For The Future, Men Date For The Present

Why do ladies fall for bad boys?

Why do gentlemen fall for hot chicks?

The answer's simple. Women date for the future, men date for the present.

Women Date For The Future

When a girl sees a guy who makes her heart flutter, what does she see in him? A nice smile. Charming character. Respectable family. Good genes. The father of her children. A pillar of financial stability. A hero who will rush to save her, no matter the hour of the day. Bursting with potential. Destined to perform good deeds.

Basically, she falls in love with the man she imagines him to be. He may not be that man right now, but he'll be that man in time.

Such thinking is full of idealism, which is good. But that means it's also grounded on assumptions, which can turn out bad.

What if she judges him wrongly? What if she hopes for him to change but he doesn't? What if her trust in him is sorely misplaced?

When expectations fall short of reality, that's when the bubble burst. She backs away, heartbroken.

Some romance don't last pass summer

Men Date For The Present

When a guy sees a girl that makes his jaws drop, what does he see in her? A pretty face. Red lips. Slim curves. Dresses up well. Teasingly exposed skin. A soft voice. A gentle touch. Drop dead gorgeous. Photogenic. Great selfie skills. Good cook. Knows how to spoil a guy. Turns a blind eye to the occasional indiscretion. Loyal, patient and forgiving.

Basically, he falls in love with the woman as she is. Oh yes, she's the one - right here, right now.

He has little expectation for the future, which makes things less complicated. But that means he can't promise much about the future either, which is worrying.

What if her beauty melts away? What if she matures into a stronger woman? What if he can't deal with the weight of her expectations for him to be a better man?

When time passes and things change, that's when the passion dies. He breaks up, without looking back.

Some romance don't even last pass the night

Dual Expectations, One Love

Most women and men approach relationships differently. We're just built this way. Maybe it's genetics, maybe it's the different sides of our brains taking control - whatever the reason, it is what it is. You may think you do not fall within the typical gender mind-set, and you may be right - but that only means you're the exception to the rule.

Forget about the cause, focus on the effect. How do we reconcile the divergent views? How do two persons with opposite sets of ideals make a couple?

Acknowledge that there will be differences in expectations. Be open, be honest. Share the reasons of your attraction. State your expectations clearly. As long as you agree to live up to each other's set of expectations - different as they may be - you're on the right track.

Women date for the future, men date for the present. It's a matter of finding the sweet spot between the present and the future. That's where love blooms.

1 comment :

  1. very wise article Raphael, i think you will like what i wrote, i`m new so dont judge me hard its about dating nowadays, what changed in the past years in dating, enjoy.